I’m so irritated right now.
I’ve always said that you haven’t really nagged a man until you’ve nagged him in print.
Now I could have consulted my list of personal irritations, but instead I conducted a very professional Facebook survey of friends. Turns out they’re all very neurotic and irritable, making me feel much better about myself.
But just when it seemed the fun was over, the comments started. Usually I loathe comments (“It’s who’s, not whose”; “WHY IS THIS NEWS?”), but today’s was nothing but petty goodtimes. Here’s a sneak peak:
“That photo has it all: Annoying hair, annoying sweater, annoying nose picking. I’m annoyed, and I don’t even know that guy!”
“Annoying habits CANNOT be overcome in a relationship. That’s why for me, the best relationship is a short one where each person has their own place to live and moves on after a few months to someone else.”
“The complainers should try a bit of cause vs. effect: He brushes teeth in the shower – it gets filled with clear soap. Leave the toilet seat up – I’ll tape the damn thing down. Leave a half-drank can of soda on the floor beside the bed -100% of anything beverage related is barred from the house.”
“I have been with my wife for 23 years. We very rarely argue. I learned a long time ago that I am always wrong and she is always right. This trick has worked wonders for me.”
“My husband’s breathing really annoys me. Especially in bed, when it’s quiet. It’s really loud and he won’t stop.”
(There’s an ongoing discussion at my house as to whether this last one’s sarcastic. He says Yes, of course. I say No, now breath through your mouth.)