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More than you ever wanted to know

Blog / September 2011

My ovaries are famous! Or at least exposed.

A couple years ago, back when I was too shy and/or humble to insert myself into my writing, my doctor scared the pants off me — just kidding; they were already off — by finding a monstrous cyst on my ovary. Only they didn’t know it was a cyst at the time, leaving me in a special fresh hell of wonder and anxiety for three solid months.

I scored a handful of useless textbooks, but I really wanted an account of what removal would be and feel like, so I turned to info in the glossies. Alas, nil, as people are often reluctant to expose and/or exploit their ovaries. Not me! But seriously, after I was done and alive, I felt compelled to calm some other cysty broad’s nerves.

So please forgive me, strangers and male relatives, if this is way more than you ever wanted to know. If so, don’t click here or peruse the September issue of Best Health, read all the things I should have done with my life instead.